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Those who like to stick to scripted sexual encounters are not a good fit in the long run for those who like to explore their erotic potential.

Although our cultural upbrining and gender education form a large part of our sexual beliefs, I do think physiology should weigh in as well.

Is your sexual appetite simple and vanilla, or do you like to be challenged in the bedroom?

A simple way to address this with a new sexual partner is to discuss whether past sexual experiences fall into one of three categories: hot, exciting, and fun. If one person feels compelled to masturbate daily and the other one only once a month, this could mean their physiology for desire is set at different levels.

Deep connection, expression of love, or sacred experience. This at least broaches a conversation about each of your perspectives and motivations. (Or if one person has never masturbated or thinks masturbation is shameful, see #4 below.) It can be helpful to ascertain if you maintain a relatively constant level of sexual desire throughout long relationships, or if it peaks early in a relationship and fades over time.

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