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This was no longer about the thrill of the incidental hook-up, nor the mindful dinner dates with unappealing men. Nevertheless, the niggling assumption that my Hot Girl Megan/Sexy Summer Jazmin relied on being single wouldn’t budge. It certainly wasn't going to come from me, not now.
This was about looking good, feeling great and letting the boy stuff fall into place around my unapologetic, party-bringing, all-day glowed-up existence. I’d taken on this weird pressure to dance with random guys and be available for nonchalant snogs in the smoking area to fulfil the season’s brief. In reality the whole endeavour left me without any money (booze, dresses and red lipstick), exhausted and unwilling to recognise something – or rather someone – pretty great in front of me.
Disaster often ensues (hangovers, lost credit cards and the like) but I’ve always been very chill about the fact that this fun and flirty version of myself was the better Jazmin, the Jazmin everyone loved to laugh both at and with as she expertly bulldozed her way through London's pubs/bars/dance floors/corner shops to chat up an unsuspecting man on the other side of the room."She’s fun! I’d smirk, they’d laugh and I’d walk out into the night, ready to live my 'best' life.
And yes, it’s a far cry from "sugar, spice and everything nice" but it’s effective. " sang my choir of imaginary hype women every time I’d shimmy out of my oversized sweatshirt to reveal the little black bodysuit that had been hiding beneath. " cheered colleagues as I faux-coyly arose from behind my computer screen with a lick of rouge lippy at the end of the day.
It's a wonder that I came out of Jaz's Sexy Summer alive with just a few bruises and embarrassing stories to share with you all.
It's call Recompense but it's not entirely transmitted through animals.The new boy is still around and I'm on my best behaviour.Let's see if I can manage a sincerely Sexy September.No longer would I rely on waking up next to Bad Gal Jazzy’s Bad Decisions on the off chance that it might turn into something legit (it almost never did).I was going to retry the dating thing that involved meeting guys at a prearranged time and destination – the red lipstick and shoulder-baring bodycons were still invited, of course, and the tequila often followed, but the arrival of my confidently sexy alter ego at least felt a little bit more purposeful in this context. Properly dating, continued partying and living that Hollywood version of being young, free and single, except while on a boozy rampage through London.